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Every store in America should be legally required to have a drive thru.

It's raining today.  Again.  For about the seventy-fifth day in a row.  And I had to get milk.  Which meant dragging Will through the rain to get two gallons of milk and then carry everything back to the car.  In the rain.  Did I mention that it's been raining a lot lately? 

I sat in my car contemplating my options - don't buy milk and deal with not only the screaming from Will, complete with the most heart wrenching signing of "milk" and "please" and "more" and, perhaps more importantly, sentence myself to a morning of coffee with non-dairy creamer and the nasty chemical coat I'd wear on my tongue for the rest of the day as a result, or suck it up and drag myself and Will and 2 gallons of milk through the rain. 

Carrying my son shouldn't be such a burden, right?  I mean, he's my kid and I love him.  Throw myself in front of a moving train kind of love.  However, this little bundle of joy that I love so much weighs 30 pounds and fights me like Oscar La Hoya when I try to carry him.   He yanks my hair, hits my face, screams and wiggles, all with the absolute knowledge that I will not drop him from a height of four feet and run for the nearest bar (which happens to be right next door to the store where I buy milk).  And, unfortunately for Will, this is my fourth time around so the whole cute baby thing doesn't have as much cache as it might have had for Ellie.  Doing errands with kids sucks and it sucks hard core.

Just recently, a friend commented that he called 911 on a woman who left her kids (approx 7 and 4) in the car while she went into Starbucks.  Fortunately for the woman, she got her coffee in a timely enough fashion that she avoided an uncomfortable conversation with the police.  My friend got feedback from his FB friends about how terrible that was and how could any mother do that.  And I'm sure he was proud of himself for taking a stand against bad parenting and poor choices.  Well, I'm not a terrible mother.  I'm a really good mother, if I do say so myself.  And I've done it.  I've left my kids in the car while I got a coffee.  While I've gotten another kid out of school.  I've put the kids in the car and then come back in to the house to get myself ready.  In Delaware, if someone called 911, and the police came, they would likely take my children away from me and put them in a foster home until an investigation was completed.  Because you can't leave your kids in your car, cause it's a slippery slope.  If you let some people leave their kids in their cars, then where do you draw the line.  There was a woman in my recent memory who left her kid in her car while she went into a bar and had a date.  Is me running into Dunkin' Donuts so much different?  It's all a matter of degrees, right?  

While it's possible that this woman is a crappy mom and is taking her own issues out on her kids, I'd like to think that she was probably just a mom who didn't feel like dragging her kids into another store.  Especially one that sells tasty looking treats for approximately the same price as my last pair of tennis shoes.  Maybe she had been out running errands, or worse taking them to the doctor, all day and just wanted a coffee without commentary from her kids.  A wise cop friend of mine once said that no situation is so bad that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a police officer.  My friend's intentions were excellent, but maybe just waiting by the car to make sure nothing happened to the kids, that they were in no danger, and then a private word with the mother might have been kinder and more civilized?

This brings me back to the rain. And the milk. And Will in the car, happily playing with a train.   And being a bad mother.  Suddenly, it dawned on me that there is another option. It is completely socially acceptable for me to leave my children in the car while I go into the gas station. I could be in there buying smokes and porn, but no one thinks twice about a car full of kids at a gas pump.  So I went to the gas station and bought milk for a ridiculous price, brought it home, and enjoyed my coffee while ignoring Will so I could watch Grey's Anatomy. 

That my friends, is being a good mother. 
 

Maggie's 5!!!

My Maggie is 5.  She is definitely a kid who knows what she wants and knows how to get it.  She is the mayor of munchkin city around these parts, all the little kids love her, despite her nearly choking almost all of them while trying to pick them up at one time or another.  She is a force of nature.  I hope you enjoy this little review of Maggie's year!

Carnival Games prepared me for Motherhood

When you walk in a room four kids aged 6 and under, you get a lot of commentary from strangers.  "You certainly have your hands full."  "You're busy!" "That's a little army you've got" and my personal fave to date, "That's ALOT of kids!", as if I had 14 kids with me rather than 4.  After the shock of seeing a seemingly normal person with 4 kids wears off, the next most common line of attack is "I don't know how you do it!"  I usually smile and say something self deprecating, unless I'm feeling snarky.  Recently an older gentleman commented, "So what do you do in your spare time."  I responded with "I have four children, what do you think I do in my spare time?" with a large wink thrown in for good measure. 

I've recently figured out how I manage four kids though.  It was all the carnival games I played as a kid.  Let me explain:

Whack a Mole - perfect training for life with four kids.  My day to day is filled with kids popping their heads up and asking for various things.  I have to get a snack for one, while another is asking for crayons and another is crying about a boo boo, and the fourth is needing a diaper change.  It's all about peripheral vision and quick responses.

Ring Toss - Total practice field for throwing snacks with accuracy into the way back of the van.  If I had known then what I know now, I would have practiced more with my back to the bottles and looking in the walleye mirror.

The Balloon Dart game - more of a metaphorical preparation, but I do puncture the wild schemes of my kids pretty much daily. 

Duck Pond - well, hasn't every parent fished something out of the toilet?

Dunk Tank - I've spent hours trying to figure out how to do baths dunk tank style.  It's a work in progress.

Bean Bag Toss - totally prepared me to feed four kids at the dinner table.  I can throw a dinner roll with wicked accuracy.

Fun House - Pretty much goes without saying.  Sometimes scary, sometimes dangerous, but you always want to go back through. 

So all in all, I'd like to thank all those toothless carnies, who in their own way taught me as much about motherhood as Dr. Spock. 

thoughts on Motherhood...

My days are filled with poop and pee,

arguing, whining, and squeals of glee.
I like to think I have control,
but my kids think that is rather droll.

Each day I start with a sense of hope,
that the coffee’s ready and will help me cope.
My sleep interrupted, my body wants to revolt.
I need the caffeine to give me a jolt.

Four little creatures, I see waiting there,
Running around with sleep-messy hair.
Feed them, dress them, start the days grind,
brush one’s hair, wipe one’s behind.

One onto the bus, preschool for another,
Two stay with me, their harried mother.
Tomorrow I think, I’ll do this all better,
get up earlier, make lunches, get it together.

I’ve given up on being THAT mom,
the one with makeup, jewelry or matching clothes on.
No, I’m the one running late,
for school, for appointments, for a playdate.

I usually forget something I need,
thank Heaven for friends who loan things to me.
These girls are my rock, the cut me much slack,
And they know that I’ve got their back.

The years are short, but the days are long
and some days I feel like I’m doing it wrong.
My kids watch TV, eat junk and fight,
they haven’t learned Spanish or how to sleep through the night.

But most days we laugh and hug and kiss
Those moments I know it doesn’t get better than this.
My kids know I love them and I do my best everyday
to make a good home for them to learn and play.

So after six years of this motherhood stuff
I’ve learned being a parent is really tough.
I’m a good mom and I’m a good wife,
and I can’t wait to see what happens in life!