On the Road with the Lacey's

My childhood memories of long car rides consist mainly of my brother drawing and redrawing a line in the velour that I could not cross, always having something under my feet cause I was the shortest, and praying the car needed gas soon so I could pee. My father is a believer in not overusing the starter in a car by needlessly turning the engine on and off for trivial things like letting your small children relieve themselves. We stopped when the car needed gas, and that was it. So notorious for this was my father, he earned the nickname "No Pee Lee."

My other overarching memory was passing all the signs on the highway for cool, amazing, wonderful attractions. Things that would enhance my creativity and spark my curousity. Things that would make me more popular in school. Things that we passed at an average speed of 55 miles per hour, in a colorful blur of dashed hopes next to the highway. When I am a grown up, I promised myself, I will stop at these things and see what I missed!

So... now I'm a grown up and as Jeff would love to tell you, I have inherited more than a few of my father's habits. I hate stopping needlessly, I hyperventilate if we need to make a stop on the wrong side of the road, and I seriously hate ever having to back track on the road. But there is still a part of me that wants to stop at all the cheesy roadside attractions and see what I missed.

This weekend we drove to Pulaski, VA for Jeff's family reunion. Pulaski is in southern Virginia, practically in Tennessee. On the way there, what do we pass? A thousand signs advertising Luray Caverns. Holy crap! I've always wanted to go there!! So, Jeff and I hatch a plan to leave early on Sunday and go to the caverns on our way home. Hooray us.

The reunion was great. We got to see all the relatives, everyone appropriately fussed over my kids, food was fabulous, etc. The whole weekend, we talked to Ellie about the Cavern. Showed her pictures from the brochure. Made up stories about dinosaurs leaving the "fried egg" formations behind. It was the stuff of parenting books.

We left the reunion on Sunday, brimming with optimism. We trundled up Rt. 81, all the way keeping our eyes open for those lovely green and yellow Luray Cavern signs. "Hear our Stalactite Organ!" "Largest and Most Visited Caverns" "Probably more expensive than you think it should be, but think of the stories your kids will tell" etc. Finally, exit 264, we turn off and begin to follow signs to the Caverns. This is when my inner Leo Moran begins to talk... this is pretty far off the exit... it'll add hours to the whole trip... we could make it to Frederick before the car needs gas.... I do my best to squelch these thoughts and we press on. At long last, the gates to Luray are before us. We pull in, find a good parking spot, so far everything is coming up roses.

The entrance fee is $21 per adult, but thank the Lord, kids are free. (the inner voice for that part was my mom) Next on the agenda is finding Maggie a sweatshirt, as the brochure tells us it's a chilly 54 degrees at all times in the cavern and we didn't have a coat for her. Another $15, and Mags is suited up in the cutest Luray Cavern sweatshirt they had (read, the only sweatshirt in her size).

Okay, we're in line, get our self guided tour headsets and down we start. Now, I had called Luray to see if we could bring a stroller and we could, but the nice person on the phone neglected to tell me there's fourteen stories of narrow staircase to go down. Okay, I exaggerate, it was only about two stories, but still. Jeff mans up and carries the stroller, and I take Jack in my arms and begin herding the children down the stairs.

Halfway down, Ellie, my normally mild mannered child, begins to SCREAM. "I don't want to go here! I don't want to go here!" I suddenly realize that in all our talking about the cavern, we neglected to tell Ellie that it was, in fact, underground. Of course, Maggie also begins to scream too, cause if Ellie's scared, it must be scary. Ellie's muscles have locked and she's not going anywhere. And of course, there's a line of people behind Jeff, wondering what those terrible parents are doing to their children. I quick grab Ellie around the middle and carry her down the stairs and then repeat with Maggie. Quickly strapping Jack in, Jeff and I turn our attention to our girls who are both blubbering and hollering. Just then, the helpful Luray staff girl comes over and offers to show us how our headsets work. What? Are you serious? I wave her away and continue to try to calm the little psychos down. No dice. Five minutes later, we're going back up the 27 flights of stairs to the top. I'll give Ellie credit, I wouldn't have thought she could go up those stairs so fast.

While I stood in line to try to get a refund, Jeff took the girls out to the car. The people at Luray were very understanding and did give us a total refund. Jack and I head back to the car and when I see Maggie, still snuffling, in her cute Luray Caverns sweatshirt, I did what any reasonable person would do... I wrenched that damn sweatshirt off my toddler and stormed back to the gift shop, where I got another refund.

All in all, not our best family outing, but I will say in the end, it turned out to be a nice day. We ended up taking a drive through Georgetown, in DC, and even got street parking and had dinner at Johnny Rockets. The girls both got balloons, and you'll have to wait until the next blog installment for the end of the balloon story!

Most importantly, we all got home safe and sound and the girls are still talking about meeting their cousins. I guess I'll focus on that part of the weekend!