Why you should never lie to your mother

Since I don't have anything to say about my life as it stands today, I thought I'd relate a story from my past, complete with a moral... why you should never lie to your mother.

Let's go back to summer, the year 2000. I was living with Steve in Boston and had come to Maryland to visit my parents. Before I left, my mom slipped me $40 and told me to take a cab home from the airport, instead of the subway and then the commuter rail. Ha ha!, I thought to myself, I'll pocket the $$ and take the train and then I can have take out a couple times on Mom.

The plane ride was uneventful and I made it from the airport to the commuter rail station without trouble. I had to walk a block or two to make it to the station, and on my way, I saw ahead of me a woman and her two kids. The older child is pulling a suitcase upside down so the wheels are on top and he's more dragging it than anything, and the mom was holding the younger sister's hand and pulling another suitcase. As I approach, I hear the kids are both crying - not screaming, but miserably crying. The mom seemed to be keeping up a steady stream of cursing. Being a generally good girl, I caught up to her and offered to help. Keep in mind here that I also have a suitcase and a bag filled with every piece of sheet music I had at my parents house.

The mother accepted my help without a smile and thrusted her suitcase at me and told me that she has to get on on the green line. Inwardly, I groan. The green line in Boston is the elevated rail, and I knew that it was going to be up at least two flights of stairs. Gamely, I turned to the little boy, set his suitcase on it's wheels and he and I hurried to catch up with his mom, who had started without us. She was still cursing, and I could hear snippets about "your f*$!ing father" and "piece of s$#t". We got to the bottom of the stairs and the little boy looked up the metal steps and let out a wail. I managed to get another stranger to get his bag and up we all travelled. Finally we reached the top of the steps, to find out that we were on the north side and she needed to be on the south side. I talked the stranger into helping us all some more and down we all truck to the other side of the street and back up the other side, the whole time, the kids crying, the mother is cursing, I'm carrying two suitcases and a canvas bag, and another stranger is carrying one suitcase.

We got to south side and I turned to leave and the mom says "Aren't you coming with us?" to which I replied no, that I had to get on the commuter rail. She actually had the balls to huff and then told me that she didn't have enough money to get on the subway. I talked the ticket person into letting the kids on for free and the stranger gave up fare of the mom and we took off without a look back.

I was mulling over how no good deed goes unpunished as I ran to the commuter rail, now cutting my time fine as I had to catch the train. I made it and settled myself into the seat and started reading "A Wrinkle in Time", a childhood favorite that I had taken from my parents house.

I smelled him before I saw him, and I thought, that person is going to sit next to me. On a nearly empty train, the crazy homeless person, ALWAYS finds me. Sure enough, a man wearing a motheaten fur and leather coat, wool hat and gloves sat down next to me. Remember here, I was visiting my parents for the 4th of July. He reeked of beer and BO. I'm liberally minded, but sheesh, really God? You had to send this guy to sit next to me?

Mr. Stinky then opened his mouth and mentions he has read "A Wrinkle in Time" too and that he actually has been to Malden (a town in MA) in the year 2025. I don't know what else he said cause the rest of our time together, I was formulating an escape plan.

We came to the first stop on the rail line, which wasn't my stop, but I told my new friend that I had to get off there and asked if he could please let me out. Of course, he couldn't. So I gently reminded him that if he didn't move, my suitcase would probably hit him in the head. He moved an inch and I scooted by and hurried to the next car.

I spent the rest of my trip afraid that Mr. Stinky would find me and get enraged that I had lied to him about my stop. I jumped off the train with total relief at my stop and finally got home, sweaty, exhausted, and totally bemused at my advenure. Surely that much stuff doesn't happen in one day to everyone. Then suddenly it hit me...

NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER!

If I had taken the money she gave me and taken a cab like she said, I would have made it home way earlier, without aggrevation. I have never lied to her again!!!